Family

I found out today who the mystery host family will be! I am living with a single mother and her two younger daughters. Irena Stojanovic (pronounced Stoyanovits) is separated from her husband and is working and a PhD student of Economics here in Zagreb. Her two girls, whose names escape me, are 6.5 years old and 12 years old. They have fish and live in a small apartment which I can walk to from the SIT office! (Which is excellent because that means I can sleep longer, get more exercise, and because I have to go there every day!). We meet with our host families at the potluck Saturday night and then go home with them. We have Sunday to adapt and then class Monday morning.

We started hrvatski jedik class today (Croatian Language class). Our teacher, Marija (Maria), is amazing and I'm so happy we have a great language teacher (I have always abhorred learning a language classroom style). But this obviously will be a lot more hands on than other language courses because we will be living in Croatian.

My host mom does not speak too much english, but the little girls do. I am going to try to really stick with Croatian. I'm excited to learn it, and so far it seems like it wont be that hard. I have the pronunciation down pretty well right now. There is only one form for all past, present, and future verbs. All pronunciation stays the same, no exceptions (like stupid engleski).

That's all for now. We're going out for drinks and hopefully some food and espresso.

Love,
Erica

govorite li engleski?

Do you speak english???
This morning, my first true morning waking up in Zagreb was sunny, chilly, and invigorating. Just being in a city, walking and taking the tram (like the T in Boston, except electrically run and all above ground), makes me feel good. I never thought I would like to live in a city where I commuted regularly, and I might not like it after a while, but the idea seems to be much more positive in my mind right now. Last night a few of us shared our first beer in a little cafe in the Trg (square) and spoke about academia and our like and dislike for it. We all are sharing some of the same sentiments, fears, and visions of the trip: what will our host family think of us? Will we be able to learn hrvatski (croatian), what the hell will our ISP (Independent Study Project) be? But what seems to be most shared, and ultimately the most important, is our communal desire to learn and immerse ourselves here, work and play hard. The people on the trip are all very different, but extremely interesting and nice (which terminates my biggest fear of being with unispiring, mean, and unsocial humanoids like what happened in San Miguel de Allende, Mexico last summer).

After letting the tram doors close too quickly on us a few times, were quickly learning the rules of the road here. Tram doors do close quite quickly. People dont talk too much on the trams. People are more touchy and dont understand our idea of bubble space, most young people know english, and the open market is the way to eat! I had fresh figs today, and I couldnt be happier.

Today we started with a -drop off- which sounds like what it is. They gave us a piece of paper with a name of a shop, location, etc and the street name and told us to find it. We had an hour to explore, ask for help from people, and do some ethnography while we were there. I was directed towards an internet cafe about 4 blocks from the SIT office (which is in the center Trg and is amazing and ill describe it more later). It was closed, but it was right across the street from a wonderful park where many people walked their dogs around lots of flowers, a big water fountain and a gazebo. There were some embassy's there also, i noticed brazil and france among others.

The city is really interesting, and ultimately the exercise today made us realize how much it has to offer. From cafes, to bars, to clubs, to salsa classes, aerobics, yoga, pilates, to music halls and cinemas, to parks and a lake and interest specific restaurants and clubs, you can find a lot. Two younger Croats came and spoke to us today, Marko and Barbara, about our upcoming host families, youth culture, and taboos to keep in mind. If we like this type of music, this political stance, this sport, etc, we should go to this club, this bar, etc. It was really interesting.

Croats go out in groups. If you decide to go off alone into a bar or cafe, you most likely wont find someone else who is looking to talk to you, because people are already socializing with a group. Also, coffee to go is a completely foreign idea. Coffee is an hour ordeal where you sit and relax with a group of people over good conversation. And coffee is espresso, none of that -white coffee- as they might call it here!

Tomorrow we start to shape our ISPs with Orli (program director). The reason why we haven't been placed with our host families yet is because tomorrow we get interviews with Goga (the project coordinator) so she can better understand our interests, dislikes, fears, etc so she can better place us with an appropriate host family. This idea = brilliant and very soothing for nerves.

I am about burnt out. But one more thing: old drunk Croatian men are very funny and like to comment on my hat. he said, -miss, you have a very...beautiful...hat-.

Love, Erica

on a rainy afternoon in zagreb

it is raining here, but the food is warm and the people are great and im excited to start this chapter in my life. i am feeling many things: tired for not sleeping in over 24 hours, overwhelmed for the days and months ahead, and a bit overcome by how big and different this world really is. No matter how many countries I have been to, it strikes me everytime.

I hope to post pictures soon, as soon as possible. I have to shower before I can think. A few of us are going to go to the center and sit down for a drink, unwind from our day. tomorrow we start at 9 am for orientation.

the train system is great, all electrically run and pretty clean. we have train passes. the doors close very quickly on you, we got stuck in that position twice. you have to move quick.

doviđeja,
erica

Time it was

I am in Fort Lauderdale, Florida with my father, after visiting my grandparents for a weak one-day tour. I haven't been down here in 2.5 years and until this moment, I didn't think too much about it. As I walked away from my grandpa, his eyes watering up instantaneously, I wondered if this could be the last time I see him. I quickly hugged him, then turned around again for another, and then one more time for another. He stood and waved us goodbye. They can't leave, they aren't healthy enough. I have to go to them. They sit around all day. They live day-to-day. I told them I love them.

I need to remember to send them the pictures I promised.

My Summer in Pictures - a small sample

A small glimpse of my summer...at least what I caught on camera...




Our beautiful home for the night. On top of Sugarbush mountain, Vermont with Lizzy and Bud















Bud and I hiking in Vermont








Nantucket '07. This video cracks me up. "Hey, quit ruining the rich people's views, alright?"
Check this out if you want a hysterical vision of the place with the highest consumption rate I have ever seen [Nantucket, Massachusetts]



Lindsey (not pictured) and I sharing a very [cheap] bottle of wine before the pops play.

Upward Bound UNH Summer 2007

UB IS WHAT?? Last day, group picture

Group U, UNITE!













Elizabeth and Giobari

Zlatan and Kellie















Community meeting before Boston trip









John Edward Matthew Bosselman (aka JBoss), Maura, and some hot chick at the infamous Trivia Night.














Caitlin, Meghan, and Tiff about to go on the scariest ride I've ever experienced.









And last but not least, the wonderful staff I got to work with!

Loneliness

As human beings, not only do we seek resolution, but we also feel that we deserve resolution. However, not only do we not deserve resolution, we suffer from resolution. We don't deserve resolution; we deserve something better than that. We deserve our birthright, which is the middle way, an open state of mind that can relax with paradox and ambiguity. To the degree that we've been avoiding uncertainty, we're naturally going to have withdrawal symptoms--withdrawal from always thinking that there's a problem and that someone, somewhere, needs to fix it.

The middle way is wide open, but it's tough going, because it goes against the grain of an ancient neurotic pattern that we all share. When we feel lonely, when we feel hopeless, what we want to do is move to the right or the left. We don't want to sit and feel what we feel. We don't want to go through the detox. Yet the middle way encourages us to do just that. It encourages us to awaken the bravery that exists in everyone without exception, including you and me.

Meditation provides a way for us to train in the middle way--in staying right on the spot. We are encouraged not to judge whatever arises in our mind. In fact, we are encouraged not to even grasp whatever arises in our mind. What we usually call good or bad we simply acknowledge as thinking, without all the usual drama that goes along with right and wrong. We are instructed to let the thoughts come and go as if touching a bubble with a feather. This straightforward discipline prepares us to stop struggling and discover a fresh, unbiased state of being.

When Things Fall Apart. "Six Kinds of Loneliness". (54-55)

Pulling Out

Of the war that is. BBC News published an article this morning (presumably along with every other news source in the nation and, quite possibly, the world) that the US House passed legislation calling for the removal of most US Troops from Iraq by next April. I really haven't been following this quite as well I should have been, but I do have an understanding of the gradual turnover of opinions being seen in the House and Senate from the past couple of months. So far the House and called to end US military involvement in Iraq three times--which were either shut down in the Senate or by President Bush.
It's quite interesting. There is a quote in the BBC News article: "But Mr Bush rejected calls for a withdrawal of US forces, saying it would be disastrous. He said troops would only be withdrawn when conditions were right, 'not because pollsters say it'll be good politics'."
Well, my question is when will conditions be right? When will it feel "okay" to leave the Iraqis on their own? When all the building are destroyed? When military officers outnumber citizens? When their culture becomes extinct? When Iraq is no longer Iraq?
The fear that has been pumped into our hearts in astounding. I don't know what or who to blame here, in fact, I don't feel like I can blame anyone or anything. The people are turning on our current administration, and that change I can certainly see happening. I think most people can. But what I don't understand is why we continue to sit. We protest, we march on Washington with our ready-made posters and our visible slogans that muster up chuckles and laughs. But it all just divides us more. I don't even know where to start. It's so disheartening.
And I can't possibly have an educated opinion on how the Iraqis must feel, must want, must need for themselves. I have never talked to one of them. I haven't gone there yet. I haven't seen the events turn for so many years now. I can't possibly know how to think in this matter, and neither do most people. I will never trust what the newspapers are saying, what the television shows, what the President of my own country has to say about the war, about the people, about what they need and what I need. I can't possibly believe in that.

Currently I am reading this book called The Suitcase: Refugee Voices from Bosnia and Croatia. "A woman with two little girls said, "I have even lost faith in humanitarian aid. I have a feeling that even people who are helping us are doing it for themselves and not for us. That is why I want to forget my story and never tell it to anyone again. I don't even feel like a refugee anymore. I just feel poor (79). To think of humanitarian aid, something I want to devote my life to, in this way, breaks my heart. It doesn't even make sense that people could be hurting other people, saying they are helping, but really are just helping themselves. Does this look similar to anything we are seeing in Iraq? To help create stability for the Iraqi people? To help bring them democracy? To help them regain their own lives? History seems to repeat itself...

In some ways I wish I had been paying attention since 2003, with my ears and eyes closely following the news headlines on TV and in the papers. But another part of me, the bigger part, is okay with my withdrawal. Its because I just do not trust the eyes, the ears, the telephone of information that is strung from person to person and finally dumped onto the colorful headlines of Fox News, CNN, ABC, The Times, The Globe, etc etc. The point of the game telephone is to see if the message changes at all when whispered from person to person. Usually it ends up changing, which in turn changes the purpose, the idea, the understanding of what has been said or seen.

Let's connect the dots. I still feel at a loss...