Out of body?

Okay, so I have been here for almost two weeks and I still can't stop the international exhileration (to be away, to have everything look somewhat similar but unrecognizable, to start over, to build on what you have, to explore complete cultural phenomena, etc). It's been wonderful.

Today I met the "Dad"...funny enough the word for Dad is "tata" and the word for brother is "brat", both amazingly hysterical when thought of in English. The Dad of the family I live with is very...how can I say this without passing an enormous amount of judgement...I can't...an asshole. He didn't do anything to me, so breathe in deep Mom and Dad. He just, is an asshole. He is one of those big beefy guys who has a scratchy low voice, who is very good with his little girls but who you know, you just know, has anger issues and smacks his wife because he is 'the man of the family'. Today he brought me, Petra, and Dora to the brand new Mall that just opened up down the road and to buy groceries for the house. Except, he acted as an obligatory father figure and it really turned me off.

Irena, my mom, is so so so sweet and I can't imagine her putting up with such a person for so long. I have never been able to understand the pain and difficulty of living in a home where the parents are separeted or divorced, which I am so thankful for (Mom, Dad, keep pulling through! Let mom use the laptop!). But today I got a taste of the bitter taste Petra and Dora feel when with their Dad, knowing he once lived with them but treated Mama poorly and so now he doesn't live here anymore. It must be so hard.

And I am truley falling in love with my little Croatian sisters. It feels good to have so many women around! It's also quite different for me, I've always gotten along much better with the males of the world. But I think this is really healthy, and they are so beautiful and fun and goofy. We play the hand clap games a lot and it's fun to do with Dora (the 6 year old) because she can't keep the rhythm and forgets the pattern easily, sometimes hitting her face instead of my hand, so I pretend to hit my face too and she likes that, hehe.

The academics have been going well, although not too strenuous yet. I've been getting a bit stressed about the ISP (Independent Study Project). I have to start thinking of that more, but I have been having a bit of trouble relating my interests to this area. I don't think it should be hard but, it has been. This is what I'm thinking of:
- The female body, how it is viewed here by males and females, how it has evolved -- this could bring in a number of things such as war time abuse, to sexual education, to the media and consumerism/capitalism changing the social consciousness of women, etc. The women in Black movement, and other movements such as the Vagina Monologues, the suitcase etc which gives voice to many women.
- The creation of collective consciousness. This has really been interesting for me to hear about, especially with my experience in the Difficult Dialogue creation at Clark. How is history taught? How is it taught differently in the region? How do people remember things, how do people silence them? And how does it effect the current relationship between Croats, Slovenes, Serbs, Montenegrins, Albanians, Muslims, Macedonians, etc?
- Autonomous regions (Vojvodina i Kosovo) and their progress, the women's movements attached to it all.

More later, all my love.