Spinning. Everything is spinning.

Today I woke up at 11:30 am. My train to Budapest left at 7:50 am. Oops. Next time?

Tonight I sat in Trg Republike, the main square in Belgrade, and watched everything spin around me. This city is buzzing, and I feel entirely comfortable sitting and watching the people who live here. I went on a long walk, up and down the pedestrian road, reminding myself of all the people I have met in this city, why they are special to me, the things we have shared, etc. I want them to know that they have greatly effected me, that I will hold them close, and that they have another person who they can go home to.

That is something I have realized quite a lot while traveling (and I haven't even started the "long haul" traveling). I want to be a provider of a home. I don't know what this means--if it means I want to have a shelter or just a never-ending couch for people to crash on. I think making home for people is one of the most beautiful things you can do.

The long haul. The beginning of the end. The mega trip of a lifetime. So why do I already feel tired??

My paper is done, at least I am telling myself this. It is hard to move to that completion mode—I always want to continue editing, erasing, starting over—but I just can’t do that. I have to be okay with what has been produced.

I am sad to leave Belgrade, in many ways. I am sad that I might not see the friends I have made—in particular Tijana, Stevan, and Dejan. They really touched me while I have been here. Tijana and I have had some great conversations, I feel like we really connected in a lot of ways. She is one of those righteous babes. Stevan and Dejan were amazing. We only hung out…maybe 4 times, but each time it was wonderful, fun, exciting. I laughed so much with them. They were great companions, they brought the best out of me.

I am nervous for next week—for re-entry into Zagreb and group dynamics. I cannot believe it has already been a month, although at some points the time ticked by. Doesn’t it always?

I head to Zagreb tomorrow. The group heads to Slovenia on Thursday. On Sunday we head back to Zagreb for the family gathering. Monday I go to Vienna. Tuesday I go to Israel. The following Tuesday I come back from Israel to Vienna. Then to Prague. Then to home. It sounds quite hellish at the end, so I am really going to have to keep the positive energy rolling. I will also be traveling alone, something which always tends to affect me so much.

It gives me the space to think—where anything that I might be holding in side for whatever reason—has the ability to come out. You sit, for hours, maybe with something to do but maybe just time to think. The room heats up. Thoughts roll out of your head, circling around you as you zip into another time zone. It is inescapable me myself and I time, and unless you have some strong sleeping pills, you have no choice but to deal with yourself.

I am going to miss the Three Black Catz and Mladen, Marija, Eve, Jasna, and the gang. This room has become mine (although now I am the only one left). I feel like the resident greeter for all the comers and goers. These are the people I remember.

- The 50 year old from Ireland

- The Frenchman who worked in the Middle East as a freelance journalist

- The two men from…SE Asia somewhere…maybe Indonesia I forget

- The girl studying in Thessaloníki from Virginia.

- Two Estonian girls

- Two French guys

- Berlin, Germany guy with a girlfriend in Nis

- Three Aussie girls

- 3 Dutch from Amsterdam

- 2 Bulgarians

- 1 Italian dude who slept in his tighty whities

- 2 Aussies who had been traveling for 11 months

- Seattle dude

- Seattle dudette

- French girl in the beginning

- New Zealander living in London

- Canadian – Victoria

- 2 Guys from New Jersey